Lost and Found
by ninjagirl987
Summary: Begins after 'Back in the Saddle'. Mac is still with Webb or is she?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:**Begins two months after 'Back in the Saddle'. Mac is still with Webb - or is she? 

**Disclaimer**: Not mine

**A/N:** This is my fist fanfic ever, so don't be too hard on me! Oh -and I'm just warning you, English is not my 1. language!

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They would look like any other couple eating lunch together as they sat on the café laughing and teasing each. What made them stand out from the crowd were the uniforms they both wore and the covers resting on the table between them. She was a marine lieutenant colonel and he a navy commander. Only problem was - she was already dating a CIA agent named Clayton Webb… Or was she?

"So, how did last night with Webb go?" he asked taking the last bite of his salad, changing the subject from work to private life.

"None of your business…" she said in a neutral tone, startled by the question.

"Touchy subject?" he said mockingly with a much known flyboy grin.

Blushing, she looked down. She hated that smile so much! It made her knees go all jelly on her, luckily for her she was sitting down right now.

"Harm, my love life is none of your concern!" She smiled. "For example, I never ask you how your dates go!"

"First of all, I'm not dating! Second, that was a lousy example Mackenzie!" he said a bit amused.

"How's that my problem!" Mac asked teasingly looking up again.

"Okay, if you don't want to tell me, I won't ask…" he said, pretending to pout about it.

"Good!" she answered, smiling from getting it her way. She wasn't ready to tell him that Clay and she had broken it off last night, at least not like this.

"I only asked because I care about you… What if he acted like jerk, I wouldn't want you to date jerks now would I?" he was as surprised as she was over what he just said. _Where did that come from?_ He thought, but it made Mac feel a little guilty about not telling how last night actually went.

She knew this man cared about her. They had worked together for what, 8 years or so? Still, this was also the man who never made up his mind about how he felt about her. He had taken it hard when he found out about Clay, but he didn't seem crushed or heartbroken. The reason why she didn't go after him was because he didn't go after her. Well, that wasn't exactly true either. They'd both gone after each other, on different and inappropriate times for the other person. Still, the man sitting across the table from her had a very special place in her heart, she just supplanted it.

"Harm… Discussing Clay with you is like discussing you with him, hopeless!" It was exactly how it was. They couldn't stand each other, and it wasn't a bit better after Paraguay. Still, Clay helped Harm when he needed it and the other way around, Mac never understood those two together.

"Fine…" He said distantly. He didn't really want to talk about it, knowing Mac was with Webb hurt bad enough, he was just too stubborn to let it show. He brought it on himself too. It wasn't like she was unattractive, so no wonder she had a boyfriend. But why Webb? He had had many years to confess what he felt for her, but she always seemed to be involved with someone else when he made up his mind. That might be because he got frustrated with jealously each and every time she was with someone which forced him to really think about how he felt, but again, he wouldn't admit that to anyone - especially not to her.

"Besides, you would think of him as a jerk no matter how good he treated me!" she said in a cheerful voice, trying to make him smile again.

"True…" he said, just as distant as last time.

There was an uncomfortably long silence between them.

"Harm?" They both looked up into Catherine Gale's face.

"Catherine! Hi, good to see you!" He stood up and hugged her, smiling again.

"Mac…" she shook her hand and smiled.

"Catherine, or should I say Mrs. Rabb?" Mac said sarcastically but her smile still remaining. Glancing at her she noticed her pregnant belly. "Congratulations on the baby! How far are you along?"

"About 7 months!" Catherine said with a smile.

Mac's smile quickly faded. It was 7 months since Harm went to Paraguay to find her, meaning 7 months since he "married" the now pregnant woman standing in front of her. He never actually went into details about that and Catherine did show up at his apartment a couple of months ago when she went over with Imes' files. Was Harm…? A sudden wave of jealousy struck her.

She saw Harm noticing her expression but gave him an 'I don't want you to ask about it' look. Not in front of Catherine, as none of them would be comfortable with it.

Catherine on the other hand turned her full attention towards Harm again.

"I was actually about to call you, you know!" she said.

"You were?" Harm managed to get out, still eyeing Mac in concern.

"Yeah, I though a repeat of that dinner we had wouldn't be bad." She said with the brightest grin Mac had ever seen. This didn't sound right to her ears at all.

"Oh… Yeah, I don't see why not…? Why don't I call you later, and we'll figure something out?" he said with a short smile.

"I should get going." Mac blurted out as she paid her lunch and picked up her cover. She just needed some time by herself to digest this.

"Mac…" Harm started.

"I'll see you at the office" she said briefly before she took off completely ignoring Catherine.

She took a detour back to JAG, trying to put all the bits and pieces together. Was this making any sense at all? Was he the father of Catherine's baby? Why haven't he told her the whole story behind the fake marriage? And why the heck was she jealous!

Both Harm and Catherine watched her go.

"Harm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to chase her off or anything…" Catherine said a bit put out by the whole thing.

He sighted. "Don't worry about it, I'll talk to her later, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you" he lied. Or was he? He wasn't really sure.

"I guess that dinner was inappropriate then, with you two involved now and everything…" she said before he cut her off.

"Oh no! No, no, no! She's still with Webb…" He insured her.

She laughed. "Really? Without your approval I guess?" She teased him.

"I'll call you about that dinner, okay?" He reminded her, avoiding the question.

"Looking forward to it" She smiled.

Catherine was a very attractive woman, any man would be blind not to think so, but she was right when she commented Harm about him wanting an instant family last time he saw her. Even if she would have agreed, it wouldn't have worked out. Catherine Gale was a beautiful, smart and loving woman, but still, she wasn't Sarah Mackenzie. Put out by his own thoughts he thought to himself _'Get a grip Hammer, she's with someone else, besides, you have Mattie now.' _Noticing that Catherine was still there he looked at his watch.

"I have to get back to work, it was good seeing you again Catherine" he smiled while paying his lunch and putting on his cover.

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Back at the office Harm headed directly to Mac's closed door and knocked.

No response.

"Mac?"

He knocked again, and when no one responded he carefully opened the door to find an empty office.

"The Colonel hasn't come back from her lunch yet sir" PO Coates said, walking past me with a document to Turner. She stopped and turned.

"Wasn't the Colonel having lunch with you sir?" She said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but…" he stopped talking as he saw Mac walking through the entrance door and the bullpen nodding to PO Coates, and walking directly past him and into her office.

"I guess lunch didn't go as expected, huh Commander?" She said with a comforting smile before she headed over to Turner's office.

"No, I guess not…" he said to himself as he again knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" He opened the door and looked into a pair of chocolate brown eyes that could melt anyone's heart. She sighted and looked down into a file again. "What?"

"Would you mind telling me what happened at lunch?" Harm said calmly while he seated himself in one of her chairs crossing his arms, waiting for an answer.

She sighted again.

"Harm… I really don't want to start this here…"

She was so relaxed and calm it almost worried him, besides that, she looked… sad.

"I really think we need to talk…" he said in a low voice.

"Yeah… I guess you're right…" she asked in a voice even lower than his. "You free tonight?"

"For you? Always…" After realizing what he just said he tried to figure out some kind of excuse, but my mind went blank.

"I'll take that as a yes. Your place at 1900?"

Relieved that she didn't make a big deal out of what he had said he nodded. For a while he actually thought he saw a smile creeping upon her face. He got up and walked to the door, turning around to find her lost in her file again. Sighting, he turned and closed the door behind him as he walked towards his own office.

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After working on a case and meeting a client she finally got into her car and drove home. The drive seemed to take hours, but she knew from her internal clock that it took just as long as it always took. As she closed the door behind her, she kicked of her shoes, put the files she brought home on her coffee table and started to unbutton her uniform jacket as she saw the red light on her answering machine blinking. She pressed the button and wasn't surprised to hear Clay's voice.

"_Hi, it's me… Just wanted to check in on you… Um, about yesterday, it all went so fast! Are you sure about all of this? I mean, we did have some pretty good times together… Maybe we just need to sort things out? Anyway, I have to go… Company business… Call me Sarah… Take care! Bye!"_

She sighted. Things didn't go to fast yesterday, and yeah, sure they had shared plenty of good times together. He worked for the CIA, he was gone more than he was in D.C., and they had too many secrets which they kept from each other. She respected that he couldn't tell her about classified information, where he went or what he was doing, but the fact that she felt that she couldn't talk to him about her past bothered her. Sure, she was in love with him, at least before, but she never truly loved him.

She went into the bathroom and started filling up the tub and got undressed. As she sunk in her thoughts went back to what happened at lunch. She was glad she was talking to Harm later as she really wanted them to be as good friends as they were before Webb and she ever happened. Maybe it could be like that now that he was out of her life or at least out of her love life. As she relaxed lying in the tub with bubbles surrounding her, she started to think back on a similar situation in Paraguay. Harm came in with her gun as someone knocked on the door to their hotel room. Before he went out he stated: _I'd forgotten how beautiful you are_. She smiled to herself. He probably never knew how flattering those words were to her. The moment she got up the phone rang.

It better not be Clay! She wasn't in the mood to talk to him at all.

"Mackenzie?" she barked.

"… Mac?" it was indeed not Clay.

"Harm! Sorry, I thought you were someone else…"

"That's okay… Do you want something to eat when you come over or have you already eaten?"

"I ate before I left JAG, but you know my appetite!" she said with a laugh.

"Yeah, always hungry aren't you Marine?" He was happy to actually hear her laugh again. It brought a smile to his face.

"So, pizza okay? I just got home so I don't think I have the time to start on anything" he said, already knowing pizza was just fine with her, as long as she got her half with stuff he would never put into his mouth.

"Pizza's excellent Harm, you know how I like it!"

"Yeah, dead animal it is" he said teasingly. "I'll see you in an hour or so"

"58 minutes and 44 seconds actually! Bye Harm"

He had to laugh when he hung up. If any other woman than Mac had known the exact numbers of minutes and seconds until they would see him, he would probably freak out more than he would be flattered. Even though it was quite annoying to him at first when she would comment on how late he was, which he almost always were, it was useful from time to time, and now he would just smile at her when she made a comment about it.

58 minutes later, Harm was just finished dressing as he heard a knock on the door.

He opened it and was defiantly pleased by the sight in front of him.

She was wearing a white coat, a tight violet top which didn't reveal too much, and a black pair of pants. Every curve on her body was hugged in the right way, not to Harm's disapproval.

"You look good, come in!" He said, making room for her to do so.

"Thanks, you don't look to bad yourself!" She said with a grin. It was absolutely true. The not-to-tight, not-to-loose white shirt he wore reviled the muscles the navy uniform hid and she actually missed seeing him in jeans, which he was now wearing. She also noticed that his hair was still damp from showering.

"The pizza will be here any minute. Anything to drink?"

"Water will be just fine thank you…" She said, making her way to his dining table where he already had set out plates. God, had she missed hanging out with him here.

He went over to his fridge and took out one bottle of water for each of them, giving one to Mac as he sat down.

"What…" "So…" They both started to talk.

"You first" she said.

He sighted "What happened during lunch Mac? One minute you seem totally happy, the next, you just ran out on me" he said with a stern look.

"Well, it wasn't like you were alone or anything" she tried with a smile, before she got all serious.

"I don't know… When Catherine showed up, a lot of stuff came back to me…" she looked down as she started to fiddle with the seam on her jumper.

"Like what?"

"I don't know… A lot… Us… What happened in Paraguay, you… Everything really"

"Let's start with the 'us' part then…" he said.

She gazed at him for a moment before fixing her look on her bottle of water as she started to talk.

"You and I both know that a lot of things have gone unsaid between us since we came back from Paraguay…" She stopped to take a deep breath. "We haven't even talked about what happened over there and I'm still confused about you resigning your commission to find me." She looked into his eyes. He immediately broke the contact.

"Mac… I already told you, I think you know the reason why… You were already with Webb, so there's nothing more to say. Besides, I couldn't just sit here waiting for you to come back when you went missing, and I had to do something! Hell, you know how much I care for you… You're my best friend…" he said looking into her eyes again.

"Am I?" she almost whispered. The look got so intense neither of them knew what to say or do next. What finally broke it was the delivery man knocking on the door. Harm got up, paid him and put the pizza on the table. None of them touched it.

He bit his lower lip and looked at his hands which were now resting on the table.

"Look, I know we didn't talk much after we came back. We're both to blame for that, but you were busy with Webb and I didn't even work at JAG anymore. I guess I tried to 'move on' or something, but don't ever think I didn't consider you as my closest friend during those months." He looked back at her. "Did it answer some of your questions?" he tried with a smile.

"Yeah… I guess… But how come you didn't tell me the whole story behind Catherine Gale?" she said, trying hard to ignore that smile of his.

"Is that what this is all about? Catherine?" he said shocked.

"You say that as if it's surprising. All we talked about was you two faking the whole marriage thing to find me, now, 7 months later she turns up 7 months pregnant!"

He smiled "And you think I have something to do with that?"

"Well, its logical thinking isn't it?" she said back.

"Mac, all she told me was that I wasn't the father and that it happened before I met her…" he looked into her eyes and thought he saw a sign of relief in them but something was still bothering her.

"So… You did sleep with her…" she said looking down, wondering to her self if it was a statement more than a question. Looking up again she saw him raising an eyebrow and opening his mouth to say something.

"Don't answer that…" she quickly added. When she came to think about it, she didn't want to know and it wasn't any of her business.

"Why do you even care, you're with Webb!" he said, not knowing what else to say.

"About that… I'm not, it's over…" she looked away again.

"What? When… why?" he was glad to hear, but he felt more sorry for her, she had been pretty happy with him, even though he would gladly be the one who made her that happy.

She sighted. "Yesterday. We got to an agreement… He wasn't the kind of man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and with me knowing that, he deserved better…" she smiled with her mouth, but her eyes were kept emotionless.

"I'm sorry to hear that…" he said taking her hand.

"Are you?" she looked at their hands and into his deep blue eyes. She could sit there and stare into them forever.

"Honestly? Both yes and no… I never really liked the man, but my respect for him grew when I saw how happy he made you… Let's just say, he was better than Bugme!" They both laughed. Glad to see her smile an actual smile, his thumb automatically started to stroke her palm gently. She enjoyed it and looked into his eyes again.

"So… What about Catherine?" Mac said, wanting the whole story this time.

"I and Catherine are just friends…" he started. He told her the whole story about what happened after she went to Paraguay with Webb, never letting go of neither her hand nor her eyes.

"So, what happened when she came over here a couple of months ago?" she asked just out of plain curiosity.

He laughed at that. "Am I witnessing a prying marine?" he said with his best flyboy grin.

She looked down blushing but soon found a decent comment to tease back with.

"Why, can't you handle it sailor?" She smiled on of her dazzling smiles back.

"Oh, I'll live!" he said but his mind thinking that what he couldn't handle was that smile of hers.

"Harm, you're stalling the question!" she giggled.

"Nothing happened. We talked, that's it. I made a fool out of myself talking before thinking, but she made the funniest remark just as you left!" he said thinking back.

"Really?" she couldn't think of what.

"Yeah, something about you giving her a 'get away from my man' look..?" he said with a smirk.

"Oh… I can't seem to remember that… Must be about… Clay or something? You know, both of them working for the Company and everything" she managed to get out, embarrassed about the whole thing.

"Well, if you say so…" he said with the smirk still remaining in his face.

"So, what about you talking before thinking?" she pried again.

"I…" he hesitated. "I sort of wanted to start fresh with her, seeing if we could have worked it out. But she voiced my thoughts, which were me wanting an instant family, and to be honest, she was right…" he said, still wondering if he should have kept his mouth closed.

"Is that what you want, a family?" she asked.

"I don't know. It just feels like something's missing you know?"

"Believe me, I know the feeling! What's worrying me is that I'm not getting any younger by the days!" she said. That reminded Harm that her birthday was coming up soon.

"Look, it's getting late… I should be heading home…" she said. Her internal clock told her it was over 2200 already. 2203 to be exact.

Harm sighted as he took a glance at his watch. As much as he wanted her to stay longer he got up and grabbed her coat for her. After helping her getting it on they stood by the door. She looked up into those heavenly blue eyes of his.

"I've missed this you know… I've missed you…" she said almost whispering.

He pulled her close and embraced her.

"I've missed you too" he said muffled against her hair.

As they finally broke apart he opened the door for her. On her way out she turned and gave him a look he'd only seen once before, many years ago out on the admiral's porch. Feeling the tension between them she sighted and smiled.

"'Night Harm" she said before she turned around and walked further and further away from him.

Closing the door he said barley audible "Goodnight Sarah…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Not mine

**Thanks to reviewers:** Nix707, daisymh, Staz, Mxfan214 & starryeyes10.

**A/N:** Sorry I haven't updated in a while, spent a couple of weeks in the US, so I added a couple of chapters to the story…

Mac closed the final Imes file on her desk. She took the last sip of coffee from her mug and felt the threat of tiredness sneak upon her. She had already had four cups of coffee and looked abnormally good for someone who hadn't slept a wink the previous night. After tossing and turning in bed after she got home she finally realized that she wasn't getting any sleep, so she did what she did to distract herself: work. She had reviewed a full two cases in the past 10 hours, including showering and lots of coffee breaks. With that in mind, she had also put her work down several times as memories kept spinning around in her head. All of them seemed to be about an aviator-turned-lawyer named Harmon Rabb Jr. All the fond memories kept piling up, all the way back to when they met until yesterday. She had tried to deny some well-known feelings from the moment she walked out from his apartment to this very moment: a certain longing to be close to him, touch him and be with him. Than again, how could she not be drawn to him? He knew her better than anyone. She could talk to him for hours and hours about everything from the weather to her most hidden secrets. He would listen, comfort her, laugh with her, he was always there. He brought out the best in her; maybe sometimes even the worst. The perfect antidote however was always his best flyboy grin and those fantastic blue eyes of his. But the thing that fascinated her most was how he confided in her. He was probably the only person, apart from her uncle Matt that believed in her when no one else did, he never abandoned her when everyone else would. Sure, they drifted apart after Paraguay and Webb, which they were however working on, but she still felt like the world would tumble down if something ever happened to him. She loved her family here at JAG more than anything in the world and if something would have happened to one of them she would have been utterly crushed, but somehow she would have managed to get on with the help of the people around her. But what if something ever happened to Harm? Tears formed in the back of her eyes just by thinking of it. She was aggravated with jealousy just by watching him talk to Catherine Gale, what would happen when he got a girlfriend, got engaged and married someday? Could she stand losing him in a way like that as well, knowing that he was there for someone else and not for her? She felt like an ego thinking it as something struck her. Was this how he felt when she had been with Mic? No… He had his fair shot in Sydney on the ferry, and he turned her down. He stopped fighting for her after her engagement with Mic. But then again, she had had her fair shots as well. She kept telling herself to suppress whatever feelings that were coming back as she closed her eyes and sighted before she went to fetch some more coffee.

In another office Harm looked up from his files and yawned. He hadn't slept much that night either - he just lay in his bed with a lot of unanswered questions running through his mind, all of them about a certain colonel sitting in her office not too far away. Working was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. All he could do was think, or maybe that was all he wanted to do? Thousands of questions whirled through his mind: all of what could have been and the what ifs. Yeah, he definitely thought about the what ifs. What if he told her how he felt last night, told her about all the feelings that he kept pushing away? Would it have ended the way it did? What if he had been ready in Sydney and given in? Where would they be now? What if he kissed her goodnight yesterday? He could still feel her lips on his, the chill that went down his spine that night on the admiral's porch. He just couldn't get her out of his head! He sighted. This was exactly why he hadn't slept, and it had to stop. His chances of ever winning her heart was small to nothing, he had lost his chance many years ago, something he finally realized in Paraguay when he saw her with Webb. He already knew when she moved her engagement ring to Mic from her right to her left hand. He looked at an open file and than at his notes. They were blank. He needed something to keep him awake although it seemed impossible. Coffee… He needed coffee. Although it was decaf, it just felt like it helped. His mug was not empty, but he had a sudden urge to get a fresh cup…

As he entered he saw the back of the woman who caused his insomnia.

"Good morning" he said yawning.

"_Good morning_? I've never been this sleepy since God knows when!" she said over her shoulder.

"You too, huh? I got a good full 3 minutes of sleep… All together!" he watched her pour him a cup.

"Well, at least you got your 3 minutes!" she turned around taking a sip of her mug while giving Harm his. Mac felt a warm brush of his hand against hers as he reached out to take it from her. She lowered her mug, and they both looked up and stood there for moment, gazing into each others eyes. They both forgot all about suppressing their thoughts and feelings for a short moment.

"Thank you." he managed to get out before he looked away, taking a sip himself.

"You're welcome…" she said a bit off, blushing slightly as she looked away too before she got too lost in his eyes.

"So, care to share what kept you up?" he tried not to meet her eyes again, thinking something could slip out of him that he might regret later.

"Well, I just kept thinking about what we talked about," she took another sip "and you?"

"Ditto!" he smiled into her eyes again.

"Commander, Colonel?" They were interrupted by PO Coates entering the break room. If they were relieved or irritated, none of them really knew.

"PO Coates?" Mac nodded at her.

"What's up Jen?" Harm asked.

"The Admiral is looking for you" She said smiling. They both rushed towards his office. Harm knocked on their CO's door.

"Enter!" they heard a firm voice say. As they did so they saw Sturgis and Bud sitting in the two chairs in front of his desk.

"Sir?" Mac said standing at attention behind Bud. Harm did the same behind Sturgis.

"At ease! Thank you for joining us Colonel Mackenzie, Commander…" they both smiled and looked at him, wondering what he had in mind for the four of them next.

"I've got a new case for you; a certain PO Leer is accused of killing a civilian whom was trespassing military ground." Mackenzie, you will be prosecutor, Turner and Roberts, you will be defending the Petty Officer. You'll get all the required files with Coates."

"Ay ay, Sir" the three of them said. Harm was wondering what his role in all of this would be while he yawned.

"I'm also letting you know that – am I boring you Commander!" AJ said looking at the yawning man standing before him.

"No Sir! Just a little tired… Sir!" Harm said defensively as his face turned redder. His three co-workers had a hard time not to smile.

The Admiral raised an eyebrow behind his glasses.

"Right… As I said, I'm letting you know that I am going on personal leave to spend some time with my daughter. Acting JAG as of Monday will be you Commander Rabb! I'm sure JAG will be in good hands?"

"Yes Sir! I'll do my best!" Harm said surprised.

"That would be all! Rabb, a moment please!"

The three others snapped to attention before turning and leaving Chegwidden's office.

"Sir?" Harm said.

"Sit down Commander!"

Harm sat.

"As you might have noticed, Commander Turner and Lieutenant Roberts aren't what you would call 'best friends' at the moment…" he sighted.

"Well… I believe that won't decrease any of their skills to work together on this case as both of them are able to maintain at a professional level." Harm said confidently.

"I'm sure you're right, but just keep an eye on them…" AJ said.

"Yes Sir!" Harm said. "Permission to speak freely Sir?"

AJ took off his glasses. "Go ahead Harm…"

"May I ask why you're letting me be acting JAG?" he asked considering he just got back two months ago.

"Harm, you're one hell of a lawyer, you've worked under my command for years and I don't think you working for the CIA for a couple of months changes any of that, even though I can't say I liked it… At all!" AJ smiled.

"Thank you Sir." Harm smiled back. "So, is Meredith coming with you to Italy?"

"Well, she's got a lot of work to finish, so she's only staying a week. She seems excited about finally meeting my daughter though." He said still smiling when he thought about the two women he loved more than life.

"I think they'll get along just fine, Sir." Harm said as he stood up.

"I hope so! That will be all Commander." AJ put his glasses back on.

"Admiral?" Harm asked turning towards his CO again.

"Yes?" he looked at him questioning.

"When you get back, I'm planning a little surprise-gathering for Mac, her birthday is coming up, and it would be great if you could make it!" he said, wondering if it was an appropriate time to bring it up.

He smiled. "I'll be there, just let me know where and when!" He was glad that his best lawyers were getting along again, both professionally and personally.

"I'll get back to you on that!" Harm smiled before he closed the door.

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Harm and Mac spent much time together the following weeks. They helped each other with work, rented some movies or just stayed at home doing nothing else but enjoying each others company. When people asked about it, one being a certain matchmaker and close friend of theirs named Harriet Sims, they simply replied 'making up for lost time' or something similar. _It isn't exactly the best thing when you're trying to suppress your feelings_ Mac thought, but she couldn't help herself. They were back to the old 'Mac'n Harm'. This night was not an exception.

Harm walked into his apartment followed by Mac.

"I guess there's no need to say 'make yourself at home'?" he said, smiling as she made her way to his couch, sat down and kicked her shoes of. They both went to his place after work.

"Nope! I'm good!" she said with a sleepy smile.

"What do you want?" he asked heading for his fridge.

"Orange juice! Oh! And one of those sandwiches you made me last time could be negotiable!" she said before she stretched out.

"Well… That could be arranged, but I have to go grocery shopping as you have been eating all of my food!" he teased eying the very sleepy marine lying on his couch. Besides, it was true. His fridge was practically empty.

"Hey! You had your fair share in my fridge too! Now go! I'm hungry!" she pouted.

He laughed. "I'm on my way! I don't want to be around a hungry jarhead now would I?"

He managed to close the door before he got hit by a pillow flying his way.

When Harm came back he called for Mac as he opened the door. When she didn't reply he glanced towards the place he had seen her last, his couch.

She was still there, sleeping peacefully. He smiled putting down the groceries. He took his uniform jacket of and hung it over one of the chairs standing by, soon followed by his tie. He unbuttoned his shirt at the top, tugged it out from his pants and folded his sleeves up before he started to put together some sandwiches.

He went soundlessly across the room and bent over the sleeping marine.

"Time to wake up sleepyhead" he said sweetly and brushed some strays of hair away from her face. He was so glad they were getting their friendship back on track.

She turned slightly towards him and a smile crept to her face as she opened her eyes slowly. "Hey…" she said with a low and sleepy voice.

"Hi there… Are you up for some food or do you prefer to nap a little longer?" he asked still stroking her cheek. As soon as he realized what he was doing, he removed his hand instantly.

She sighted when the warmth from his hand disappeared so abruptly.

"Well, that nap sounds quite inviting, but so does food!" she sat up. He went over to the kitchen and returned with a glass of orange juice and a sandwich which he gave her, before going back to get his own.

They ate while they discussed the case Mac was assigned.

"So, get anything out from PO Leer?" Harm asked taking a bite from his sandwich.

"Well, he says he did shoot the civilian, but claims that he had observed him spying for several weeks outside campus, and when he saw him trespassing he believed he did the right thing as he thought he saw a weapon in his hand." She had already finished half her sandwich.

"Did they find a weapon on him?" Harm asked.

"No, but what they did find though, was a camera. It appears that the man he shot was a journalist writing an article about training for the Marine Corp."

"So why didn't they look into it when the PO thought the guy was a spy?" Harm asked after taking a few bites from his own sandwich.

"You see, there's where the tricky part comes in. The Commanding General told me it seems like PO Leer has had a former paranoia incident." She answered.

"That's enough reason to kick him out, I mean, you can't have a Marine thinking civilians are terrorists or something running around on the ground shooting innocent people." He said a bit confused.

"That's what I thought, but apparently the former incident was so small they noted it in his files but decided to ignore it." She sighted.

"Looks like you got some work to do!" he chuckled.

"You bet! So, how are you holding up?" she asked, noticing that he looked a bit pale and tired.

"Okay I guess… Being acting JAG is not easy with all the cases flowing in, additional to Imes' cases!" he said as he watched her take the last sip of her orange juice. "SecNav is all over my six! I don't get how the Admiral have lasted this long!" he chuckled. "Want some more?" he said taking her empty plate and glass.

"Thanks, but I'm actually full…"

Harm looked surprised at her. 'Mac? Full?'

"… but ask me again in an hour or so!" she said added teasingly.

Harm laughed as he went over to put the dishes in the sink.

"So, anything else?" she asked softly as he returned. She had this feeling there were something more to it than just work.

"No…" he said in a distant voice not meeting her eyes.

"Harm, I know you. Something's bothering you… I'm not going to push, but you know you can talk to me." She said calmly.

"Well…" he hesitated. "I've been working on a personal case as well, and to be honest it's wearing me out." he said as he sat next to her again.

"I'm ear…" she said noticing the seriousness in his voice.

"Two months ago, I went to fix 'Sarah' and I met this young girl named Mattie. She's 14, lives alone and runs the hangar by herself. It turns out that her mother was killed in a car accident and her alcoholic father ran off drunk." He said looking at his folded hands.

"Is she okay?" Mac said a little worried.

"She's managing and doing one hell of a job but still, she has no family…" He said, now twirling his academy ring.

"So she's all alone?" she asked a bit surprised.

"Well… Not exactly alone… She's got me…" He said looking up.

"You?" Mac was now a little confused.

"Yeah, I promised her I would call every day, visit once a week and go to court to make me her guardian…" he said dead serious.

"Harm… I think it's a great idea and the right thing to do…"

Harm cut her off. "But?"

"… but you live in a small apartment with one bedroom and absolutely no room for a teenager…" Mac said. Harm's heart sunk.

"I know… That's what the judge said as well. Apparently I'm not good enough!" he sighted.

"Harm… You're overreacting! You're the most loving and caring person I know when it comes to this. They wouldn't find a better man for the job! It's not the thing that you're not good enough, because you are," she stroked his cheek and looked into his eyes. "It's only a matter of bad timing".

There was a short pause.

"There has been way too much bad timing in my life Mac," he said in a low voice. She knew he was talking about them: How one of them always wanting the other when it was either too late, too soon or a completely inconvenient time

"But what if I can't keep my promise to her?" he looked miserably at her.

"What else did the judge say?" she asked, not knowing what to answer him.

"That Mattie should try living with her father to work things out for 4 months. Apparently he's not drinking anymore and he's on a program." He said not knowing if he should be happy for Mattie since her father was trying to get his life back on track or feel sorry for himself.

"And what if they fail?" Mac asked quietly.

"Then they will review me as her legal guardian again, if I'm settled to their requirements, she can stay with me, if not, she has to go live with a foster family." He sighted.

Mac was still letting her fingers stoke his cheek. "Then you'll hope she can work things out with her father first and if not, you'll adjust to the requirements." She gave him a comforting smile.

He laid his hand on top of hers and kissed her palm gently. "Thanks, Mac…" It was 10 PM and he knew that's when she headed home. He followed her to the door still holding her hand.

"No Harm, thank you, for letting me back into your life." She squeezed his hand lightly before she smiled and headed towards her own apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Not mine

A couple of weeks later Mac opened her door and a wide smile formed in her face.

"Harm? What are you doing here?" she asked, surprised, but yet, glad that it wasn't anyone but him.

He smiled a much known flyboy grin to the birthday girl.

"Here to take you out!" he said.

"Me?" she asked with a little hesitation in her voice. "Oh! I completely forgot!"

"You've made other planes…?" Harm asked a bit panicky.

"No, no, but I'm not dressed to go anywhere right now." She said opening the door a bit further for him to come in.

"Well, you're a marine aren't you; it should only take you about, what? Approximately 10 minutes to change and get ready?" he turned and looked at a woman who had just been out jogging.

"But since it's you, I'll give you 30… Consider it a birthday gift." he added.

She giggled. "Make yourself at home!" she said mockingly as she headed for the shower.

Harm sat down on her couch, called the restaurant he was taking her too to confirm they would be later than planned and flipped through a magazine lying on her coffee table. He was a bit tired from work, being acting JAG was more stressful then it looked like. Since today had been his last day he was whacked and the judges decision about where Mattie should live was still bothering him, even though she had reassured him she was fine. He tried to ignore the tiredness and his worrying, it was Mac's birthday and he would do just about anything to make her happy these days.

10 minutes later Mac came into the living room with a towel rapped around her body, her hair damp and her cheeks glowing from the hot water.

"What am I supposed to wear?" she asked, looking at Harm who was wearing a black suit and a white shirt with blue pinstripes in different shades. She went to her fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

He gazed at her for a moment, he'd seen her like this before, but he still had problems taking his eyes of her.

"Um… Something ca-casual formal!" he stuttered, looking down blushing as he had been caught looking when she turned around.

"Right… I'll go get into something casual formal then!" Mac winked.

He had the same problem when she walked against him after she finished dressing and putting her make-up on. She was wearing a simple, yet elegant black dress that went to her mid-knee and high heels.

"You look beautiful!" he said, his eyes wandering over her.

"Thanks, you look good too sailor!" she smiled at his compliment. "Think its okay for the occasion?"

"Yeah… I like it!" he said, meeting her eyes.

She blushed slightly. "So where exactly are you taking me?"

"Well, I have to make up for that pizza the other night, so I thought I might take you to an Italian restaurant." He said putting the magazine down and following her to the door.

"Sounds great!" she said as she put on her coat and went through the door Harm had already opened for her. She smiled at him and locked it.

They got into his Lexus and talked about work until they parked at a parking lot a block away from the restaurant.

He offered her his arm as she stepped out of his car and she gladly accepted.

"Thank you for doing this" she said glazing up at the tall man walking beside her.

"You're welcome… Besides, it is your birthday!" he smiled down at her.

"Don't remind me!" she giggled. "It's just good to get out!" she said as they entered the restaurant.

"Do you have reservations?" the clerk asked them.

"Rabb" Harm said firmly.

"Right, I'll take you to your table. Follow me!" he said as he walked towards some

very familiar people.

"Happy birthday!" PO Coates, Bud, Harriet, Sturgis and the Admiral stood up at their table.

"Thank you guys!" a surprised Mac got out.

"Oh, don't thank us! This was all the Commanders idea!" Harriet said, smiling to both of them.

"Really?" Mac looked at Harm with a bright smile.

"Happy birthday Mac…" He lent over and said barley audible in her ear.

"Thank you" she whispered. He smiled at her, and then guided her to her seat.

"Would you two care for anything to drink?" a waiter said.

"Lemon soda please?" Mac said.

"Ice water for me thanks" Harm said as he seated himself next to Mac. The waiter scribbled the orders down.

"I'll be right back!" she smiled, and left to get the drinks.

"So, how are the kids?" Mac asked looking at Bud and Harriet.

"They're fine ma'am! But missing their godparents though…" Harriet smiled.

"Why don't we baby-sit some time, and you guys can go out and have some fun just

the two of you?" she said smiling at them.

"Oh, they would love that ma'am! Bud said excited.

"Please - Bud, Harriet - it's Mac!" she laughed.

"Oh, sorry ma'am… But that would be great, if it's okay with the Commander…" he got cut of by Harm.

"Of course it's okay! I love spending time with AJ and Jimmy!" Harm said, his eyes sparkling from thinking of his godson and his brother.

"Just give us a call or something next time you guys need babysitters!" Mac said, Harm nodding.

"Yeah, sure! The kids would absolutely love it!" Harriet said smiling warmly.

"A lemon soda and an ice water!" The waiter gave Harm and Mac their drinks as they thanked her before she went to serve the rest of the now, full restaurant.

"So, Mac, how's your birthday been so far?" Sturgis asked.

"Well, there's not much to brag about! I'm older!" The others laughed at her comment.

"Hey, I'm offended!" Sturgis said laughing. "Half of us here are older than you!"

"Sorry Sturgis, I didn't notice your grey hairs until now!" Mac said, sipping from her drink which prevented her from laughing with the others.

"Well, at least you still got your hair!" The Admiral said, letting his hand run over his bald head. They all laughed a little harder.

"So, how was Italy, Sir?" Jen asked when they all clamed down, a little insecure about asking her CO about his personal life.

"It was great, and please, call me AJ!" he said smiling to his yeoman. "Francesca and Meredith found out they had a lot in common, and Francesca is considering celebrating Christmas with us!" He smiled.

Everyone knew how little time he got to spend with his daughter and how much he missed her. He was practically glowing now as he had spent two whole weeks with her in Europe.

"That's great!" Harriet said, everyone agreeing with her.

"Oh, and besides, you've done a great job while I was gone, Rabb!" he said to Harm.

"Thank you, Sir!" Harm responded, pleased to hear those words from his CO.

They ate and laughed throughout the whole evening. Mac hadn't had this fun in a long time. It was starting to get late and the Admiral, Jen and Sturgis had already left.

"Honey, we should really get going. We promised my brother we wouldn't be too late, and it's practically beyond late already." Bud said hugging his wife's hand.

Harriet smiled at him.

"Yeah, you're right, but I have had so much fun tonight, I hope you have too Ma'am!" she said smiling towards Mac.

"Harriet…" Mac sighted, she had given up correcting her to call her Mac. "This is probably the best birthday present anyone has ever given to me!" she said, smiling up at Harm who was smiling back.

"Glad you liked it…" He said barley audible as their eyes locked.

Harriet got up and dragged her husband with her as she noticed the eye contact between them. Bud got out his wallet to pay but Harm said, for the fourth time that night that it was on him.

After they said their goodbyes Harm and Mac also got ready to leave. Harm paid the bill and got their coats. He helped Mac on with hers and they started to walk towards the parking lot carrying several bags containing all the birthday gifts she had received.

"You know, I really meant what I said in there, this really been has the best gift ever!" Mac said.

"So, I guess you don't want the other one I got for you? Harm grinned back.

"There's more?" she responded, surprised.

"Of course!" he said, still smiling.

"You just keep amazing me, Flyboy!" Mac raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm really not that amazing, you're just very easy to please, Ninja-girl!" he said as he stopped and put down the bags.

"Don't be too sure about that!" she said teasingly as he pulled something out from his pocket. Seconds later she was looking at a small black velvet box resting in her hand.

"What is it?" she asked curiously, wondering what was inside.

"Why don't you open it and see for yourself?" he laughed.

She held her breath as she opened it, amazed by what met her eyes, a golden necklace with a small diamond charm.

"Harm, you wouldn't?" She gasped mesmerized.

"You like it?" he asked, a bit unsure.

"I love it! It's absolutely beautiful!" she said as she took the necklace out from the box. "Could you?" she gave him the necklace and turned around.

Harm opened the clasp and put it on her resting his hands at the beginning of her back a little longer than necessary.

"Thank you" she said as she turned around and kissed his lips softly.

Harm was now the mesmerized one. She giggled at the awkward expression in his face and started to walk towards the car. When Harm decided to come back to the real world shortly after, he picked up the bags and took some really long steps until he was besides Mac again.

"Sorry about that" she said teasingly.

"Don't be…" he said, still a little put out.

Harm spent the drive to Mac's place in total silence, he nodded, smiled and agreed a couple of times when Mac commented how much she loved all the gift she'd gotten as she went trough the bags a couple of times. She smiled to herself when she noticed how gone he was. She had asked herself if the kiss was a good idea since they just got their friendship back on track, but the same old feeling was still there. He was still as attractive as he was the day she met him in the rose garden, that day in Australia on the ferry ride and the day they kissed on the Admiral's porch. The feeling just wouldn't go away. Still, it was a kiss they could both make a hundred excuses for, so she didn't worry too much. Besides she had enjoyed it.

Harm on the other hand was clearly confused. He hadn't realized what was happening until her lips met his, not that he would have stopped her or anything. He wanted so much to pull her close and deepen the kiss but it ended as soon as it started.

They parked outside her apartment building and got out. He helped her carry some of the bags up and she followed him back down again.

"So, how is Mattie doing?" Mac asked as they went in the elevator.

Harm was touched by her concern. "She's doing fine. You were right, I should be happy for her, they're doing great progress!"

"That's good!" she smiled.

"Yeah, I guess. As long as she's happy!" he smiled back.

She played with the charm on her necklace as they walked to his car while she told him about the gift Chloe had sent her.

"You like it, huh?" he said smiling.

"Yeah, I do…" she smiled back.

"Well, you know what they say, diamonds last forever!" he chuckled as their eyes met.

"And you?" she whispered holding her breathe. They had stopped and stood only inches apart.

"I…" he was interrupted by his cell phone. He hesitated, looking at Mac.

"You should get that." she said. She was irritated about the timing, but not as much as Harm, who was now cursing under his breath.

"Rabb!" he spat into the phone angrily.

"_Harm! Hi, it's Catherine!" _Mac could hear her voice even though Harm had stepped away.

His voice softened a bit. "Hi, um, can I call you back later?" he asked taking a quick glace at Mac.

"_Oh, that's not necessary! I was just calling about that dinner we didn't oblige last time. What do you think about tomorrow for instance?" _Harm looked at Mac again.

"I'll call you later, okay? I'm sort of… in the middle of something here!" he said.

Mac's heart sunk. Why did this always happen? She thought everything was going so well, and here he was, saying yes to dinner with another woman. Well, not exactly yes, but it was defiantly not a no to her ears.

"_Okay, don't let it be too long though!" _she said in an obvious flirting voice.

Jealousy rose in her like lightning from a clear sky.

"Right, bye!" Harm closed his phone and turned to face Mac. "Sorry about that…" he sighted. He already knew Catherine's call had ruined the moment.

"I should really be heading up…" Mac said. Not knowing what to think, she assumed the worst. It never worked out for them, so why should it this time? She just wanted to get up to her apartment, away from him, although all she really wanted was to be with him. "Again, Harm, thanks for everything. Tonight was great," she said, avoiding meeting his eyes. "Goodnight!" And with that she headed up.

Harm stood in total silence, puzzled. What the hell just happened? One moment everything was looking so good, the next, she almost didn't talk to him! The only thing he could think of that caused her mood swing was the call from Catherine. Why hadn't he just turned that damn phone off? Right now he hated modern technology more than ever. The last thing he wanted to do at the moment was to have dinner with Catherine Gale. All he wanted to do was to be close to Mac. Be able to hold her, touch her. Hell, just be with her. He loved everything about her, the way she smelled, the way she moved, her laughter, her voice… He got into his SUV and buried his face in his head. This had to stop. It obviously wasn't meant to be. Not eight years ago, not now, probably never… He swore out aloud as he drove away from her apartment and towards his own.

She watched him drive away with tears threatening to fall. When she no longer could see him, she sat down on her couch staring out in the room. She thought things went great between them, and then this slapped her right in the face. Okay, she knew she was probably overreacting, but it just never seemed to work out between them, why should it now?

A tear fell as the phone rang. Hoping it was Harm, she jumped up and grabbed it.

"Hello?" she said drying her eyes.

"_Mac? Happy birthday!"_ a young voice in the other end squeaked.

"Chloe?" she smiled. "Thank you! How are you?"

"_I'm doing great! What about you?"_ she said.

"I'm okay," she didn't know if it was the truth or a lie. "Hey, thanks for the flowers and candy!" she winked. She really missed her.

"_You're welcome! Sorry, I didn't know what else to get you, I'll make for it next year though!"_ she chuckled.

"Chloe, it was great. Besides, both the flowers and chocolate is my favourite! You got it just right!" she smiled to herself.

"_Well, glad you like it! Did I catch you in a bad time? I know it's late and everything. I tried to call you earlier…" _

"No, no! I just got in…" Mac interrupted her.

"_Good! So, you went out?"_ Chloe wondered.

"Well, Harm arranged an evening out with some of my closest friends at an Italian restaurant. It was really great!" she said, walking to the window, gazing out.

"_Get anything?"_ the young girl asked.

"Yeah!" Mac smiled.

"_Tell me!"_ Chloe said excited.

"Mac laughed at her. "Well, the Roberts got me…"

"_No, no, what did Harm get you_!" Chloe interrupted.

"Besides from arranging the evening?" Mac said, having a bit fun.

"_Yeah?"_ Mac could feel that Chloe was even more excited than herself about everything.

"Now what makes you think he got me more?" she chuckled.

"_Mac! I've met Harm, remember? He wouldn't settle for just an 'evening out', not when it comes to you!"_ Chloe teased.

"All right, all right… He got me a necklace with a diamond charm…" she said, lifting her hand to touch it.

"_Wow, it was about time you two got involved!"_ Chloe said. Mac could hear from the tone in her voice that she was smiling.

"I hate to disappoint you Chloe, but Harm and I aren't involved. We're just friends…" she hoped she hadn't noticed the disappointment in her voice.

"_Come on, Mac! Would he really give you a necklace with a diamond if you guys were only friends?"_ Chloe asked in disbelief.

"Obviously!" Mac answered, playing with the charm. "Look Chloe, there's nothing going on between Harm and me…" Tears started to form again. "It's not meant to be, besides, it's against regulations and he… He's not the one for me…" She didn't know if she was trying to convince Chloe or herself, but she was defiantly lying to the both of them. She bit her lower lip as a tear fell from her eyes. "Chloe, I should really get some sleep… I appreciate you calling though!" she said, trying to keep her mood up.

"_Don't even think about it Mac! I miss you, you know!_" she said.

"I miss you too honey… Bye!" she hung up and went to the bathroom, tears running down her cheeks. She looked in the mirror. "Suck it up, MacKenzie! It's not meant to be…" she told herself.

She got ready for bed and lay down. As she was drifting into sleep a picture on her nightstand caught her eye. It was taken the day of baby AJ's christening. They looked so happy; she was holding little AJ and Harm had a hand wrapped around her. Sighting, tears started to form again. _No!_ she thought. _I am not going to cry over this!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: Not mine

* * *

The next week seemed to last for an eternity. When the weekend finally arrived Harm was both relived and disappointed. Mac had kept a distance ever since her birthday. She had avoided him all week. He took the point by Tuesday and stopped trying to get trough to her. If she had to talk to him though, she would make it as short as possible. He felt the tension between them; she wouldn't even look at him. _'At least she doesn't have to pretend like I don't exist for the next two days'_ Harm thought. She had closed him completely out, and he was hurt. They got a long so well lately, as friends. He even thought for the slightest moment that they actually had a chance at something more too. He couldn't stand it anymore, now it was actually worse than after Paraguay, at least she would talk to him then. Getting trough the weekend was also tormenting. At work he saw her everyday; he thought he might be better off when she wasn't around, but it only got worse. Now, he couldn't see how she was doing either. He missed hanging out with her, talking to her… Being with her. This had to stop. They had to talk, get trough this - together.

Monday came and Harm had psyched himself up to talk to her. She wasn't there at staff call. '_Wow!'_ he though. '_She's actually late! I'm getting her for that!'_ he smiled to himself. That thought was killed when he learned that Mac had caught a cold and was on sick leave for the next couple of days.

Around lunch time things were heaping up on his desk as he had his own cases as well as some of Mac's. He sighted and picked up the phone and dialled a familiar number.

"_Grace Aviations, this is Mattie Grace?"_ her familiar voice said in the other end.

"Hey!" he was delighted to speak to her.

"_Hi,"_ she sounded just as delighted _"It's been a while. I almost thought you had forgot about me!"_ she teased.

"That's not even funny! I've been jammed up at work. How's business going?" he teased back, feeling a little guilty for not calling the other day.

"_Excellent! I was just done fuelling some of'em up. So, what are you working on?"_ she asked.

"Everything! Mac's sick, so we got a little extra work, I can't blame her though…"

Mattie cut him off. _"Listen, I'm going into town later, want to meet up or something?" _she was eager, he could tell.

"Sure! Want me to pick you up somewhere?" he said as he put away some files and pulled another one out from the stack.

"_No, no… Dad's driving…"_ She sounded a bit off.

"You okay with that?" he asked a bit unsure.

"_Yeah, at least he's not dinking anymore, but the whole father/daughter thing will take some time…"_ she said.

"Everything's going to work out just fine Mattie! You'll adjust… Besides, I'm only a phone call away if you ever need anything!" he assured her.

"_I know, thanks… So, should I just come by your place?"_

"My places it is, I'll even fix you up something!" he winked.

"_Cool! I'll be there around 6pm, okay?" _She asked.

"Okay, see you then! Bye…" he hung up and buried himself in work again.

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Around 6:30pm Mattie had nearly finished her plate as Harm picked on his.

"Earth to Harm?" Mattie chuckled as he came out from his trance.

"Oh! Sorry about that…" he said distractedly and picked some more in his food.

"Why don't you just tell me what's on your mind?" She asked, taking a last bite.

"It's nothing, really… Just thinking about a co-worker, that's all…" he said as he put his fork down.

"Mac, right?" she asked questionably.

"How did you know?" he said surprised.

"You've talked an awful lot about her lately!" she laughed.

"I have?" as he thought about it, he might have done so.

"Yeah! What's up with you and her anyway?" she asked, gathering her dishes before she went to put them in the dishwasher.

"Nothing… We're partners that's all…" he said, looking down on his plate, starting to picking at his food again.

"Oh, come on! You plan her birthday and buy her a diamond necklace, I might be 14, but I'm not brain-dead!" she said sitting across from him again.

"As I said, we're friends… Very good friends!" he sighted.

"Sure there's nothing more to it than _'just friends'_?" she teased.

"No!" he sounded like he was 5. "I sort of blew it…" he looked towards a picture of them standing nearby.

"Really? How come?" she asked as she followed his eyes. She went to fetch the picture to get a better look at this Mac person. "Wow, she's pretty!" she said putting it between them.

"Yeah…" he sighted. "She is!" he took the picture and looked at it.

"What happened?" she asked again.

Harm took a deep breath before he started to tell her everything: the other night, Australia, Mic, Renée, Webb…

"Jeez, really sounds like you two have gone through a hard time!" she said after hearing the whole story.

"Yeah, you can put it like that!" he chuckled at her.

"Listen, my dad is picking me up any minute now. Why don't you order a pizza since you haven't eaten anything, go over and straighten things out between the two of you?" she suggested. "She's clearly frustrated about this Catherine woman, I know I would be, and if I were sick, I would love if someone brought me pizza!" she said.

He suddenly felt like the youngest one in the room.

"You know what? That's not such a bad idea! And besides, I'll remember that for next time you're sick!" he smiled.

"You do that!" she said as she got up and went to get her jacket.

"Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't the best of company today…" he apologised.

"Don't worry about it! After all you've done for me the last thing I could do is to be a good listener," she smiled. "Besides, I enjoy hearing about your life too you know!" she hugged him goodbye.

He smiled as he watched her go. She was so young, yet she understood him like no one else, except… Well - the exception would be Mac.

He cleaned his still full plate, put it in the dishwasher and turned around towards the table. He slowly picked up the framed picture and put it back with the others, smiling. He called to order a 'half meat lovers, half veggie' pizza before he headed out to pick it up and drive over to his partner.

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She opened the door and looked directly into a face she knew very well - maybe too well for her liking at the moment.

"Oh… You… What do you want?" she said before she sneezed into a Kleenex.

"That glad to see me, huh?" he actually looked disappointed.

"Look, I'm not in the mood or shape to talk right now, okay?" she looked at him with a stern look, hoping it might make him go away.

"May I at least come in?" he pleaded.

She hesitated. "I really don't… All right, all right!" she opened the door wider so that he could step inside.

"Well, glad to see you haven't run out of paper yet!" he chuckled as he saw at least a dozen toilet rolls and Kleenex cartons all over her apartment.

"What, are you here to make fun of my cold! What do you want?" she asked clearly irritated.

"I just want to talk to you. About everything, about us…"

She cut him off. "There is no 'us', there probably never was an 'us'!" she sneezed again.

"But I…"

She cut him off again. "See, that's the problem" It's always about you Clay! Believe it or not, but I am sick and tired of it!" She went over to her coffee table to get a new Kleenex.

"Hear me out will you?" he asked calmly. He was always calm, it bothered the heck out of her.

She shut her eyes, silently counted to ten to calm herself down and gather her thoughts. She sighted. It was only fair to listen to him. They had after all been dating for almost a year. "All right…" she sat down, so did Webb.

"I'm sorry about how things ended Sarah…" he said looking at her.

She laughed. "How can you be sorry about that? We agreed, remember?"

"Actually, you agreed with yourself…" he said before he looked her deeply in the eyes.

"Are you saying you're regretting this?" she asked, breaking the contact immediately.

"Yes! I want us to work things out! I'll change, you'll change. We'll adjust to each other!" he said, giving her a new Kleenex.

"Thanks," she sneezed into it. "But I am perfectly happy with my life right now!" Okay, that wasn't completely true, but she wasn't telling him that. "Look Clay, you work for the CIA. It's your life, just like the Marine Corp. is mine. Work always comes first! Just admit it, we can't change that and honestly, none of us wants too…" she smiled, hoping he'd understand. She soon realized he wasn't giving up that easily.

Harm parked his car outside her apartment building, grabbed the pizza and rushed up to her door. As he approached he heard familiar voices within it. What the hell was _he_ doing here? She was actually laughing, with _him_. His heart sunk, he hadn't heard her laughter in quite some time. He wasn't eavesdropping; it was inevitable not to hear what was being said, right?

"What about the time you almost made the waiter cry when your food was served cold?" Webb said. She laughed again.

"It's not my fault they served _me_ cold steak! _I_ was hungry!" she giggled.

He laughed with her. "Look Sarah, I just want it to work out between us…" he said in a low serious tone.

Harm had heard enough. He practically stormed out of the apartment building while different thoughts went trough his mind. He wasn't angry; he didn't have the right to be, did he? It wasn't like they were dating or anything? Still, he felt a small tingle of jealousy in the back of his mind. He threw the pizza into the nearest container and jumped into his car. He buckled up and started to drive. He wasn't really sure of where he was heading and he didn't care. The frustration only grew inside of him. He turned over, hit the steering wheel with the fist of his hand and swore. Why was this always happening? Why couldn't they just make it work!

Up in Mac's apartment Webb didn't stop to push, he kept bringing up all the fun memories from their relationship, completely ignoring what made them brake up in the first place.

"We can make this work Sarah! We'll adjust…"

"No Clay, we can't! We both know it! I don't want a man who's only there for me every once and again when his job allows it, every time it suites him, and who I can't confide in!" she was getting angry. He just wouldn't get it.

"I had no idea you felt that way…" he said.

"No really, you though we had the perfect relationship, didn't you?" she said sarcastically.

"Don't you try to get all lawyer on me here!" he said, also pretty irritated.

She couldn't believe what she just heard. "What did you say to me!"

He regretted it as the words left his mouth. "Look, Sarah…"

"Get out!" she yelled as she got to her feet.

"Who gave you that necklace?" he asked as it glittered in the light from her lamp, completely ignoring what she just said.

"None of your damned business Webb!" she hissed back.

He looked at her, the necklace and then towards a picture of her and Harm, putting two and two together. "He's a lucky man you know." he said in a low, angry voice before he walked out the door and closed it behind him.

Tears formed in her eyes, but she fought not to let them fall. She needed comfort, and she knew where to find it. Lifting the phone off the receiver, she dialled a familiar number, Harm's. He didn't answer. '_Of course he didn't answer! He is probably out with someone, Catherine Gale for instance.'_ God, right now she hated the Company and everyone who worked in it! She looked towards the picture Webb had looked at while she bit her lower lip to prevent her from crying. Had she lost her partner forever?

* * *

**Nix707:** Thanks again for great reviewing, but I'm sorry to let you know... Webb's not completely gone ;) Don't worry, "the fluff is coming", just wait and see!


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